ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

THEY SAID I WAS CRAZY.

THEY SAID I WAS CRAZY.

They said I was crazy, I used to believe them.

I stripped my whole being down in an attempt to fix my insanity.

I drank to hide my insanity, the alcohol fuelled my anger and pain yet numbed my craziness.

I stayed in unhealthy relationships as they were the only ones who would want someone who’s crazy, this is what I was told, this I believed.

I disowned myself as there was something so seriously wrong with me. I was crazy I had been told by many.

I was unloveable and I would never be happy as I was crazy, who would want me. I held on feared letting go, I broke into many pieces a shell of myself, I felt crazy.

I wasn’t to speak out or I’d be shut down and have it reaffirmed that I was crazy, psycho, lying again, something seriously wrong with me.

I was angry, rageful, unhinged each time I was broken beyond my limit. Again something very wrong with me because I should accept I was crazy and sit in a corner quiet, pretty, unheard.

I took ownership of my own ship, I chose self love.

I started to see the truth – I was a game changer, I see life through a different lens, I am here to create change, stand strong, be seen and heard!

Crazy is actually sanity, sanity in an environment of denial.

I wasn’t crazy I was seeing and feeling through an illusion that others did not wish to see.

I was telling truths when others were denying reality, it’s easier to call someone crazy than to take ownership, face change.

Change is scary, fear takes over, it’s not me its you – you’re crazy!

You show your emotions oh well here’s a label, “you’re crazy.”

It’s time to wake up, to take back our power and realise if we’ve ever been labelled as crazy, it’s because we are seen as different.

We open eyes, we speak and live a truth that triggers people into feeling their hidden pain, wounding, authenticity.

That’s difficult for some to accept so it’s easier to shut us down, strip us of our dignity and label us rather than admit they are scared, in pain, lost and also feeling disconnected. Something that both are feeling simultaneously.

We can choose to keep ourselves locked in this cycle of feeling like there’s something wrong with us, seeking validation, projecting, self harming, victim vs perpetrator, being a label, fitting in, seeking the invisible.

Or we can embrace that being true to ourselves, original, authentic, honest, sensitive – isn’t crazy, it’s craze free.

How do you see me, I am merely your mirror?

Crazy or craze free!

Bec Hart.