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There’s this point in time where you realise you’re the one who’s betrayed you the most.
Denying yourself of your true self.
Fitting into an old scene.
Dying in each day.
Holding on to old pains, hurts, lovers, ways.
Not seeing you as you truly are.
A vision that cannot be seen with words.
There’s this deep conflict.
This anger, terror, rage, foaming, forming.
Rotting inside.
It’s not there to hurt you nor another.
It speaks in the silence.
It has the answers of self betrayal.
Denied pain, denied joy, denied tears.
In a world where we’ve all been a victim and perpetrator.
We choose to see ourselves as one or the other.
Like there is a good and bad.
At the deep core of both is fear and betrayal.
Fragile, rotting, shaking, bed wetting, fear.
Self rejecting, abandoning betrayal.
What does your heart desire.
If you move through this fear you find life.
Fragile, shaking, breathing, fresh crisp air filled life.
Breathing bounty into your being.
Who are we.
Who are we not is the question.
Everything yet nothing.
Nothing yet everything.
See to flow with life as breath.
You have to loosen the grip.
Allow yourself to be all.
Experience all.
Like a baby.
Allowing each breath to pass through.
Without needing to know there is a breath.
What it looks like or what it truly means.
Just allowing the rise, the fall.
The black and white and colour as all.
To truly live is to accept all of you, of all.
In that there’s no acceptance visible.
It ceases to exist.

Art + musings – Helen Rebecca Hart.