Art, ascension, change, Connection, Intuitive, life, Messages, musings, philosophy, Poetry, relationships, Uncategorized

DILEMMA.

That dilemma you have.
How about bringing it together.
Rather than allowing it to tear you apart.
Speak to fear.
Be compassionate.
Loving.
Caring.
Kind.
Allow it a voice.
Step in with fear as a sincere guide.
A friend.
An ally.
That dream you have.
Build.
Allow.
Breathe life into it.
Allow self sabotage to rise.
Treat the enemy within with love.
An open heart.
A tender touch.
Open ears.
Feel.
Feel some more.
Be free.
Surrender the war within.
Hold it high.
How can these waring worlds unite.
As one.
Yin and yang.
A circle.
A sphere.
A heart.
Beating, bursting.
Dripping with life force and passion.
We are not enemies.
We are opposites.
Let’s attract.
A force of fire.
Flowing freedom.

Art + musings – Bec Hart.

addiction, Art, ascension, change, Children, Community, Connection, life, Messages, musings, parenting, philosophy, Poetry, rebirth, relationships, Revolution, spirituality, Trauma, Uncategorized

WHAT IF THEY SEE WHAT WE SEE.

WHAT IF THEY SEE WHAT WE SEE.

Should we hold a guard up.

Chase unavailable men.

Plan our life to perfection.

Re-Write words over and over again.

Should we do a spell check.

Oh wow there, he’s the one.

He’ll fix us inside.

We’ll do everything wrong.

What if they find us out.

We’re not perfect.

Oh, “that is so wrong.”

Here is a label.

Now there is somewhere “we belong.”

How can we prove oneself.

Get some results.

Agree with the masses.

This is real love!

Maybe run from a Partner.

Pretend its not time yet.

I need space.

She can’t see I’m imperfect.

Hey everyone, check out my CV.

It’s dripping in accolades.

Everyone wants part of me.

If they only knew our denied truths.

Dark, squashed deep inside.

They’d run a mile.

We’d be a recluse.

Dear Diary;

I’m digging you out.

The darkness is explosive.

There’s only one way out.

Denial of true essence.

Cannot take it, no more.

We’re not like the Jones’s.

No lies, no more.

We’re not very spiritual.

We get angry and sad.

I thought if I was honest.

I’d be labelled, bad!

Our bodies show stretch marks, cellulite and wobbly bits.

We don’t own a fit bit and frankly don’t give a shit.

There are scars from birth.

“You chose the easy way.”

What a lie that was.

They don’t see this though, hey.

There’s scars on my arms from years gone by.

I mutilated myself for being told I was bad.

The shame ate my insides.

The blame looped the outside lessons.

Old lovers say,

“Oh them, watch them they’re mad!”

They don’t see the destruction.

Of life through a filtered lens.

Just an opportunity to shine.

Cheese, smile, action.

Press send.

Poetry and artwork – Bec Hart.

Art, ascension, change, life, musings, Poetry, rebirth, Uncategorized

WHEN THE PATH HAS NO STEPS.

When the path has no steps,
Many twists and returns.
Delving in deeper,
Getting lost in the air.
When life has no limits.
Integration commands, “stay there.”
Knotted and unruly.
Unbearable hair.

We cannot see clearly.
Feeling so lost.
Body broken, vulnerable.
Shaken, layed bare.
Vision blinded, a cloudy lense.
Light engulfed in the fire.
Dreams burnt and plans lost.
Life’s chuting you lower.
God, please shoot us higher.

Breathe deep into birth.
Scream into those pains.
Feeling sensations.
Surrendering the game.
New labyrinth to walk.
Rewiring our brains.

This path of no path.
Not for a faint heart.
Death, the end.
Death, the beginning.
The end!
Or the start?
All that remains.
A wild, racing heart.

Bec Hart.

Uncategorized

MYSTERY OF MAGIC.

MYSTERY OF MAGIC.

I have no idea where my life is taking me.
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
I find this mystery exhilarating, shaky, untouchable yet very grounding in its presence.
The numbness of my love life or lack of.
Or the lively breathing life of vastness that I had not yet discovered as I was seeing it in the olden days and ways.
Words spoken in a different form, pictures joining the dots into a journey.
The signs, synchronicities ravaging my mind as I could not believe in its presentation.
Searching for the thing that already existed.
Fear singing my song.
The fear of not being enough or may be too much playing it’s bitter, sweet song.
The raw, trembling shaky ground shaken by my own very legs as they purge their desires and fears into Mother Earth every time you enter my mind.
I am petrified to have faith in this being real as than I have to admit I’m scared.
I look into my own very eyes, through you, as you in through my minds eye and say to you; Beloved other I am scared yet I am also willing to step into whatever this may or may not be.
I feel I already have been dancing, leaning into your depth and feeling all of you.
I asked to learn about you, I never expected it to take form in the way it has.
A beautiful dance of frustration, fear, longing, purging and presence.
Beauty, rawness and colour.
Captivated by all of you, darkness, light and all inbetween.
As faith takes the lead, I take each breath one step at a time.
I’m here dear one.
I know you see me now.
Here, there, nowhere yet everywhere.
I don’t want an illusion, a fairy tale.
I breath life in, out, through and of all.
We may meet yet maybe we won’t.
Only God knows, as it’s vastness.
Fire and ice.
Do you feel me yet.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, philosophy, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Uncategorized

I AM MY LIFE FOR I AM LIFE.

“You are my life,” innocently said the parent to their child, looking deep into the child’s eyes filling their cup up in that very moment,

“I love you, you are my life.”

The child grew older, “You are my life” said the boy to the girl.

The boy left the girl and the girl felt like she had lost life.

The girl eventually moved on with life, then the boy chased the girl as he too felt like he had lost life and must seek it back, to find himself.

As time went on the girl now a lady and the boy a man, they went their separate ways.

The man says to his wife,

“I love you, you are my life.”

They have children and they say to their children,

“I love you, you are my life.”

As the children grow they feel they are missing something in life.

They feel they need someone to be their life, so they continue the cycle of giving their life mistaking it for love.

As the children become older and parents become ill, the adult child looks to the parent with the weight of the world held in their stomach. Feeling as they are their life they should be able to save them – be their life.

Can you see the pattern? The family heirloom passed down dressed as a gift of love yet containing chains that bind.

The moral of the story is, we are life.

Life is eternal, infinite.

Nobody can give that which we are.

Whole, complete, living our own lives.

We may be apart (A part) of our children’s, parents, partners lives.

Yet we aren’t there life as we’d be fused, attached and unable to be able to form healthy connections and continue in the push, pull of the dynamic of looking for love outside ourself. Love cannot be gained within another as we are love, just as we are life.

The lady says to her partner, child, friend, “I am my life” and I love that you are yours.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, spirituality, Uncategorized

QUIVERING TERRITORY, NEW GROUNDS.

QUIVERING TERRITORY, NEW GROUNDS.

Today’s realisation is that sometimes when we feel lost it’s actually because we’ve broken through into the unknown, a place we’ve never been before.

A deep vulnerability in this place of nothingness, a deep grief and purging of the old self or at least what we thought was self.
Old coping mechanisms, distraction techniques and false beliefs won’t be entertained in this place as integrity sweeps in and you just know that life is not and will never be the same anymore.

Our soul and source shall not accept anything less that full accountability, integrity, respect, kindness, authenticity and love.

Sitting with what is in it’s raw, shaking, firey energy with an undertone of deep uncertainty.

Choosing to breathe deeper into self and source to anchor self, to allow a greater depth and to be fully here without running, escaping or abandoning self to run back into the familiar.

Also this deep knowing there’s no option remaining to do that anymore, something has really shifted yet it’s not very clear yet; the windscreen of the vehicle is held deep in the fog of the fire.

Unfamiliar territory!

It wasn’t stagnation which was originally thought yet an opportunity of familiarisation within a new territory, life, living, realms of self; a new home as such.

A new home, in a land not yet ventured but for the moment a little to shaky to explore.

Bec Hart.

relationships, Trauma, Uncategorized

Obsessions, loop cycles, addiction and freedom.

ACCEPTANCE.

So as much as people don’t really like to admit these patterns – obsessions, loop cycles, addictions. We all have these in our lives to varying degrees and with regards to people, places and/or things.

This morning I discovered the root of my addictions and obsessions were not just due to lack of connection to self which I previously uncovered and addressed (this unfoldment led to a physical release of unconsciously holding my breath) but on a deeper level they were further held in being unheard and unseen.

I was triggered again last night and started to cry it was such a healthy release with an immense amount of confusion followed by a lightbulb moment! There it was! the thing that was putting me in a looped mind was the lack of response to the situation.

The situation was that in dream state I kept seeing the same man, he also comes up on my social media lots and my soul knows his yet in reality there is absolutely no mutual communication. So my mind and body were at war and I felt like I was going a little insane because of the “I can’t understand what’s going on and why I am feeling this way.” I also know that this sounds pretty strange but hey this is how the universe works, “In the most mysterious ways.”

I knew there was more to unfold so I surrendered to the universe and asked for clarity. I released the person who had been appearing in my life so very much. I energetically sent gratitude for showing me this situation in a simple way and I am so thankful that he had unintentionally triggered my buried feelings, patterns and subconscious secrets through confusion of my reality not appearing as my body was leading me to believe was my truth.

Please note that any time you are triggered it is never the fault of another and it is a gift to accept, integrate and possibly release past events and trauma.

As I woke this morning I was flooded with certain things that had been said to me in 2012-2013, things that in the past had really confused me. They were a confession plus denial yet an element of holding back information at the same time. I realised that not only was that confusing it had always been the answer to my situation that I hadn’t wanted to see.

In 2012 I had a brutal event that led to my awakening.

During particularly brutal life events, the mind reverts to back brain to protect you. This leaves the person unable to fully recall the event mentally or it can be fragmented, not in order nor making logical sense. I likened this to trying to build one jigsaw with a few pieces from several different puzzles. Also what I found is my body knew exactly what had happened and was in a constant state of fear, hyper arousal, fight, flight, freeze or fawn. It did this to also alert me and protect me. The constant looping pattern that I had in my mind at this time was “What happened to me, I need to remember, who was it.” So basically my mind and body was at war plus the added conflict of the confused words being relayed to me sent me into a spiral of alcohol abuse as it was the only thing that allowed me to desensitize my body and mind. This way I could hide in the denial that nothing ever happened rather than facing the truth that ultimately was screaming right at me.

This morning I realised that the root to all this was the “not knowing, yet actually knowing.”

There are some things in life that mentally we cannot always deconstruct, make sense of yet our bodies have an innate knowing.

I know that something else happened to me as a child and this too is the core root of the mental conflict, the looped pattern, obsession whichever you wish to label it. I don’t need to know now though, the actual acknowledgement of where this stemmed from has released literally everything, I felt it! I held my body, my head and thanked it so very much for trying to speak to me, for helping me the best it could. I apologised for not knowing how to listen and then for hiding, denying my feelings and getting lost in a bottle of self-abuse and despair. I apologised for the self harm and mutilation I cast upon myself that I had used as a young adult to cope with the shame, blame, guilt and for being so “bad.” I was raped at 15 and didn’t tell anyone at the time (as I am writing this the core triggers came back to me, flooding my awareness). I remember these events and also being beaten several times previously, all these numbed out of reality. The core thought, belief looped pattern in this “Why do this when you tell me you love me?” and the conflicting story I told myself – it didn’t happen. My body held the memories, knew the truth and that’s where the conflict lies and the looped pattern/obsessions thoughts followed by the natural triggered response of self harm, denial and ultimately addiction. I held these parts, nurtured them and integrated each one back into my being with love and a promise of a safe home.

Today I feel so liberated, so very liberated! It all makes sense now and for the first time since I was a child my body is not tense, defensive or in a state of unconscious terror.

I am mentally and physically free!

I am so eternally grateful for this!

Much gratitude given to my body, mind and soul for never giving up on me. Thank you universe for the answers you have revealed at the exact right time. Pure forgiveness, love and gratitude sent to the situations and those people involved. Today I am so grateful for experiences which have ultimately led to wisdom, unconditional love and the coming home to self. I was never broken nor lost, all I ever needed was my full love and acknowledgement.

Written with love and hope that this too can help another.