change, Death, God, life, musings, rebirth

MUST BE “CRAZY.”

Really struggling with this thing called life.
I feel there are so many expectations of,
Who we are.
Who we need to be.
What we need to do.
I feel I can’t breathe for being taught how to live.

How about just living and dropping the mask.
The judgements.
Teachings.
Psychoanalysis.
The myth of how life needs to be.
The paradox of “authenticity.”

How about you meet me face to face.
Eye to eye.
Foot to foot.
Yes we have a body.
Yes we too are the universe.

Sacred.
Unsecured.
Holy.
Unholy.
Who knows.
Everyone has a different perspective.

How about we ditch the jobs.
Titles.
Accolades.
Labels.
Wake up to the fact we pay to live.
To live on an earth that earth owns.
Work to pay.
Pay to work.
Pay to eat.
Eat to live.
Live to pay.
Round and round.
An un merry.
Let’s not go round.

I could meditate.
Be in the stillness.
Detach.
Dissociate from the game.
Is that not just the same as drowning in it though.

Polarity.
Duality.
Funny thing isn’t it.
Yet not.

Art, change, Connection, fun, life, lyrics, Messages, MOVEMENT, Poetry, rebirth, relationships, Revolution

DANGER, I WAS THE STRANGER – RED.

DANGER, I WAS THE STRANGER – RED.

They say danger is a stranger.
Yet I’m the one I lost.
Nothing stranger than the danger.
Of who you thought you was.
Leaping, pulling.
Dissecting from the one.
A million scattered shards.
An angel minus blood.
They say passion is a fashion.
I see passion get lost in lust.
The colour RED.
LOVE lost.
Heart bled.
Lover turned to dust.

Art, video and lyrics – Bec Hart.

Art, ascension, change, Death, life, Messages, musings, rebirth, relationships, Revolution

A PERFECT FLAW.

In accepting all of you, the parts you once disowned or the habits you once judged. In drenching them with love and awareness. In looking at weaknesses as gateways to inner power, portals to greater self respect you see this deeper love for others too. You feel this depth, this inner knowing that everything like clockwork, cogs, wheels, cycles are assisting you in breaking those cycles and gaining deeper insight, deeper respect over your body in the dark and light, sleep and waking. Knowing that everything that presents itself is an opportunity for you to become all of you. In power, purity, sovereignty and light. Forgiving ourselves for that which we could not know, deepening our faith in the universe for things sent to break us, break all that we are not, for all that we are not we draw experiences in to show us non resonance. I reflect upon recent experiences and I state, thank you for the opportunity to grow, to evolve, to love deeper, to fully reclaim my body, purity, sexuality and delve deeper into self and faith. I release all of you now with gratitude, fly free butterfly, In learning we can choose to touch the stars for Mars doesn’t taste so sweet. Love eternal, sovereignty in knowing that I am all I am, only I can fulfil all of me, by being all of me. The one I sought was I, here all along in all of the depth and playfulness one could ever need. Alone yet not lonely and never truly alone either. Life a paradox and liberation can first take a twist, a revelation that could consume your power yet only if you choose, you always choose. Love or fear….always a choice.

addiction, Art, ascension, change, Children, Community, Connection, life, Messages, musings, parenting, philosophy, Poetry, rebirth, relationships, Revolution, spirituality, Trauma, Uncategorized

WHAT IF THEY SEE WHAT WE SEE.

WHAT IF THEY SEE WHAT WE SEE.

Should we hold a guard up.

Chase unavailable men.

Plan our life to perfection.

Re-Write words over and over again.

Should we do a spell check.

Oh wow there, he’s the one.

He’ll fix us inside.

We’ll do everything wrong.

What if they find us out.

We’re not perfect.

Oh, “that is so wrong.”

Here is a label.

Now there is somewhere “we belong.”

How can we prove oneself.

Get some results.

Agree with the masses.

This is real love!

Maybe run from a Partner.

Pretend its not time yet.

I need space.

She can’t see I’m imperfect.

Hey everyone, check out my CV.

It’s dripping in accolades.

Everyone wants part of me.

If they only knew our denied truths.

Dark, squashed deep inside.

They’d run a mile.

We’d be a recluse.

Dear Diary;

I’m digging you out.

The darkness is explosive.

There’s only one way out.

Denial of true essence.

Cannot take it, no more.

We’re not like the Jones’s.

No lies, no more.

We’re not very spiritual.

We get angry and sad.

I thought if I was honest.

I’d be labelled, bad!

Our bodies show stretch marks, cellulite and wobbly bits.

We don’t own a fit bit and frankly don’t give a shit.

There are scars from birth.

“You chose the easy way.”

What a lie that was.

They don’t see this though, hey.

There’s scars on my arms from years gone by.

I mutilated myself for being told I was bad.

The shame ate my insides.

The blame looped the outside lessons.

Old lovers say,

“Oh them, watch them they’re mad!”

They don’t see the destruction.

Of life through a filtered lens.

Just an opportunity to shine.

Cheese, smile, action.

Press send.

Poetry and artwork – Bec Hart.

Connection, life, musings, Poetry, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

I’M NOT PERFECT.

I’M NOT PERFECT.

Forgive me.
Forgive me for my pain.
My raw, aching, bleeding heart.
At least that’s how it feels.
The loss.
The destruction.
The breaking and collapse.
The surging, pained, life surging through.
Caused by I.
Created by I.
Magnified by I.
Please have patience with me.
I may be delicate.
I won’t hold it all together.
I shan’t.
I can’t.
I won’t.
I allow myself to break.
Break the illusions.
To free the inner turmoil.
My masculine and feminine.
Begging to be heard.
To be seen.
To be at peace.
Yet struggling to find the balance.
Wounded war.
Deep, deep, deeper.
Still.
Outside reflecting the inner.
Projection of past.
Shame speaks.
How can I heal.
Lost in pain.
Deeper in self.
Down, down, down.
Deeper.
Breathing.
Wild.
Alive.
Delicate.
Still.

Bec Hart.

addiction, Art, ascension, change, Children, Community, Connection, Inner child, Intuitive, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, Revolution, spirituality, Trauma

PAIN AS MIRRORS – TO HEAL, TO FEEL.

PAIN AS MIRRORS – TO HEAL, TO FEEL.

You reached out to me I think.
Although I’m not sure.
Back then a blur.
Lost in my head.
I thought you cared.
I felt so much love for you.
You stood there yet you fled.
You wouldn’t take the time to hear me, see me, get to know me.
Mind games, playing with my head.
You stood as a brick wall.
I could feel your anger inside.
I was picking at your wounds too.
Projecting energetically, trying to fix my head.
There’s nothing wrong with me.
My insides bled.
I felt hurt, rejected, angry, betrayed.
I ran to you, to fix, to fix, to fix.
The bad girl I thought I was as a child.
Distraught, alone, heartbroken.
Unrequited love.
What can I do instead.

So many messages.
So many texts.
Calls when I say “NO.”
Please give it a rest.
They say, I know you can help me.
I love you.
What have I done wrong.
You’ve done nothing.
It’s my shame, blame and guilt.
They’re all singing an ear deafening song.
Nails on a chalkboard.
Skin crawling around.
I scream please give it a rest.
They don’t hear a sound.
I think leave me alone.
I’m not your Mother.
I’m not your home.
Nor am I your lover.
Your life does not lie within my hands.
The same responsibilities fed to me.
As childhood demands.
Anger boiling.
Here, me, now.
You don’t even see me.
I let the tears flow.
Rage screams.
I’m not a bad person.
Nor are you.
I hear me now.
I hear your screams too.

Mirror number thirty something….ninety five.
Why do I keep attracting this.
Am I evil inside.
How many more mirrors till you see.
Stop trying to flee will you.
The loud voice trying to speak inside of me.
There’s nowhere to run.
The darkness hits painfully.
Sexual advances.
Sensations as flames through my body.
Burning, intrusive.
Shaking profusely.
Vomit rising.
Memories haunting.
I tried to run, numb, avoid.
You didn’t hear my “NO.”
Daggers to my stomach,
Piercing, protruding.
Sexual advances.
Pornographic pictures.
It felt so abusive.
My sexual armour.
Induced this.
Thoughts;
What’s wrong with me.
I’ll never have a healthy relationship.
How’s this non-conducive.

Don’t run nor hide.
Come out to play.
It’s happening for you not to you.
Intimacy heals.
Feel, scream, release.
Feel all.
You can meet demons face to face.
Enter the pain.
It’s the only way.
I declare – no longer will this consume me.
I see they are in pain too.
Bringing feeling to each other’s wounds.
The dance we avoid.
This dance of wounding between two.

I decided to feel it all.
No need to run, numb nor hide.
I’m grateful to all those people.
The wounds they picked to show.
I needed to feel.
To say “NO.”
To heal.
To know my limits.
To truly love.
To truly see, feel and hear.
I’m not an object and nor are you.
A saint I’m not nor a sinner too.
I’ve played all roles,
This I cannot deny.
I’m not on a pedestal higher than high.
Just trying to be, day by day.
To grow.
To be love.
In my own unique way.

Bec Hart.

ascension, change, Connection, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

HOLDING ON – FROM ATTACHMENT TO FAITH.

HOLDING ON – FROM ATTACHMENT TO FAITH.

I have held on for far too long.
Far too many times.
I used to see it as a really negative trait.
Others saw it as love and forgiveness.
In the past it’s torn me.
Ripped me apart.
Leaving nothing but an empty shell.
A trail of unhealthy relationships.
Self harm.
Enough body armour for a war.
No love for oneself.
A huge desire for validation.
Unhealthy attachments.
Wondering what was wrong with me.
Why could I not be loved.
I was forced to change.
The only resolve, to take ownership of all.

Years pass, deep work.
Many lessons.
I can still hold on for too long.
Mainly now by faith not attachment.
I am aware now.
I call it to assist.
It’s stripped me of all I’m not.
It has been quite painful at times.
Deepened my connection to self and source. Powered me into my worth.
I’ve been taught endurance.
Patience.
Acceptance.
Self respect.
Forgiveness.
Self love.
I realise it can be a great quality.
I work with life.
Yet I’m in no way perfect.

I’m not one to run away when things get tough.
What I’ve discovered is.
There is vast strength in remaining neutral.
Breathing into discomfort.
Acknowledgment of that which arises within.
We can never truly run away anyway.
When we run we’re only ever running from ourselves.
When we chase we’re only ever looking for ourselves.
Exhausting.
Painful.
Truly haunting.
Liberation reveals itself when we stop chasing the invisible man.
Freedom appears when we’re present with all of us, with no preference of state.

Bec Hart.