change, Community, Connection, Death, God, Inner child, Intuitive, life, Messages, MOVEMENT, musings, One, philosophy, relationships, Revolution, Source, Spirit, Trauma

BEING A WOMAN.

What being a women has taught me, is that life was not in the suffering, the denial, rejection, opression, objectification, abuse, manipulation, degrading, labelling and sexualisation.

All of which I have faced.

That wasn’t life but lessons.

The story will always be a part of my life, at times denied parts may rise and maybe my story may be shown through another yet it doesn’t have to be the guide any longer nor lead the way.

Grateful for the breaking of armour and the uncovering of my true essence.

We was and are life as we lay in the womb and life as we are now lay in the womb of the universe.

Power is in the ability to stay as strong as a tree at the core as the world falls around you,  not faltering or altering your authenticity by manipulating others and controlling the direction but to be true to your truth, compassion, self love and worth. Allowing our emotions, feelings and truth to be a guide but not our master.

Handing over the struggles and rising in God’s hands as we trust that all is in divine order within Mother/Father God’s plan.

Being a women is being in her truth, unlimited nurturing, love, creation, power, vulnerability, courage, depth, playfulness and forgiveness.
Healing hands without a touch nor plan to heal a thing.

This is the power of a women.

This power a man holds within him too. Repression of the feminine within. Also a lesson not a life plan.

Balance, the key to see.

I am grateful for all those who came before us and now stand beside us in and as the air, trees, breath, being, bones and grit of life.

Beyond grateful!

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY.

May our days be blessed.

ascension, change, Connection, Death, God, Inner child, life, MOVEMENT, relationships, Source

REVISITING THE DENIED HOMES.

They say the end is the beginning and the beginning is the end.

I’ve woke up this morning barely able to move in excruciating pain, head banging, pulsing, very awake.


I feel like I’ve been transported back in time and I’m extremely confused.

This past year has been like I’ve lived it from the future then from April 2019, I’ve gone backwards somehow and now at the beginning from when I first started to see life through a more awake lens in 2017.

It’s like I’m being given a second chance to look at things, it’s really strange and the past few days have been crippling and my mind wanted to try to understand everything but I just cannot physically understand.


I’ve been questioning who am I so much of late because I realised through the past numbing of my emotions and dissociation I’ve somehow managed to literally attune to everything outside of me at a ridiculously precise cellular level and completely lose myself, yet at the same time I haven’t.


Previously (yet its been sneaking in again);

Lost in the obedience, compromise, people pleasing, expected role, subservience, self sacrifice, self punishment, controlling inside. Thinking I’m not enough, wondering what’s wrong with me, all the clues of total manipulation and control from systems, manipulation and punishment.


To the dual opposite rebellion, anger, self sabotage, numbing, controlling outside and feeling totally not bothered.


As I reach a central point or so I thought, thrust back into it again.

Is this a second chance to do things differently or a chance to re-evaluate.

What I do notice is I’d lied to myself a lot! All my feelings, pain raw, surging I’m not tempted to hide, distract or fix though, I’m more interested in what they have to say.

I feel seriously angry, totally lost in my next steps in life and not knowing what’s going on or who I am.

Masses of memories, I’ve had lots come up relating to the severe judgement and rejection I’ve faced all my life, being tossed around multiple services like a rag doll and then discarded.

Same pattern in every area of life.

Most definitely the root cause behind addictions, self hatred, self harm, suicide attempts, hiding, wanting validation and obsessions of finding something or someone to fix me.

It’s really strange I’m in this excruciating pain and I’m thankful,

I’m like thanks for showing me what’s been hiding. Thanks for the awareness, thanks for the pain to bring presence into my life.

I see that people don’t mean to hurt others it’s this idea that there’s something that needs fixing when all we really want is to be heard but they’ve denied their own needs so they fix or deny too.

That’s where it started, I wasn’t heard ever! I wasn’t seen! I was an extension of every other person and eventually took on their pain and lives as my own (which I’m aware could be happening right now). I was judged, controlled and then it was reaffirmed through everything I did, deep ingrained looped patterns.

Old records spinning, same pattern different tune.

How can I be better, I must conform.
How can I fix this, I must rebel.
Denying my truth that I’m petrified of living in this world because I don’t fit in, I don’t agree with the masses, I’m scared to speak out, I’m scared of being held captive yet that’s the very thing I’d been doing to myself inside about my past and how I feel about my now.

Telling myself, I’m ok, things will work out.
Truly I’m not ok, I’m scared, I’m scared that I won’t have anywhere to live, that I’m not good enough to have the life I truly want. I’m scared that I’m gonna have to go back and work somewhere I don’t want to, just to live. I’m living in poverty yet nobody cares.

Why on Earth do we pay to live it’s absurd?

I’m scared that people will read this and judge me.

I’m thankful though because I’m here for myself and I am so very aware.

I don’t know how long I’ll be heading backwards to go forwards but I know there’s no rush.

Who am I, I just don’t know and that’s ok.

I have no idea what my next step is, all I can do is pray and start again.

Breathe Bec, breathe.

Art, change, Community, Connection, fun, Incantation, Inner child, Intuitive, life, lyrics, Messages, musings, Mystic, philosophy, Poetry, Revolution, Spirit

THE TIDE, THE TURN.

The wind it moves.
A sacred dance.
A loose structure.
Pure cleansing.
Trance.
The wind holds eyes.
In ancient skies.
Orange – red.
A holy bed.
A resting wake.
A longing tooth.
From foot to eye.
From brick to roof.
Up.
On.
Ancient winds.
The tide shall turn.
Some will win.
Some shall learn.
In both a winner.
No loser.
Insight.
The Earth.
The wind.
Blows wolf.
Away.
Angelic might.
Prophetic.
Delight.

Poetry, video, content – Bec Hart.

Art, change, Community, Connection, fun, Inner child, Intuitive, life, Messages, musings, relationships, Revolution

IS IT TIME….

Will there ever be a time where we can just be ourselves and that be enough.
Where all needs are provided for without having to give into systems, structures, cages, restrictions, doing “me” rather than being.
I can’t give into it, this way of work. I’m not a funnel, robotic device that wants to commit my all to serving humanity at the expense of myself.
Service yes! With flow, passion, creativity, a guiding light, no plan yet a purpose provided in each now, each heartbeat, each breath.
My love.
Birthing creativity with imperfection, life force, passion, playfulness.
I yearn the freedom of fire, the dance of the air, the flow of water, the wildness of spirit, the stability of Earth, the sensitivity and strength of the trees and the wealth of metals.
Are my desires too much, too out there, too vast.
Universe where are you as I speak I hear you, why is it you don’t hear me.
Invisible, unseen in a world yet I am true to myself, why is this God.
It feels that way anyway.
Lately I’ve felt alone, all I desired fell through once again.
Relentless.
Painful.
Disheartening.
I’m left with not really much outside of myself, it would seem this way by sight.
All I do witness and have around me I deeply appreciate.
I know there’s no permanence.
I know that I truly am love.
I am myself.
I haven’t left myself in all this chaos.
I’m here.
Breathing, beating, still, moving.
If I have anything I have myself.
That can never be taken away.
I’m still here.
Alive.
A sign.
A sign of life.

Art & Musings – Bec Hart.

Art, ascension, change, Community, Connection, Inner child, Intuitive, life, Messages, MOVEMENT, musings, philosophy, Poetry, relationships, Revolution, Spirit, spirituality

INVISIBLE.

INVISIBLE.

All I have is this moment,
this moment right here.
This moment in which I belong.
I have no answers.
I need no answers.
Point zero.
The colour green.

I heard something earlier.
My body triggered grief.
I took a step out of the moment.
I made conclusions.
My mind raced with evidence to back it up.
I captured breath.
I anchored the moment.
A powerful release.
No judgement.
Pure acceptance.
Free flow.

An interesting revelation.
I know no more.
I know no less.
I need not know.
No judgement.
Pure stillness.
I am in, this moment.
Present in this moment.
This vast space.
Point zero.
Colour green.
In this moment.
I AM.

SILENT SOUND HEALING. https://youtu.be/7F2UjoSvWlc

Art, Poetry & Silent sound – Bec Hart.

addiction, Art, ascension, change, Children, Community, Connection, Inner child, Intuitive, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, Revolution, spirituality, Trauma

PAIN AS MIRRORS – TO HEAL, TO FEEL.

PAIN AS MIRRORS – TO HEAL, TO FEEL.

You reached out to me I think.
Although I’m not sure.
Back then a blur.
Lost in my head.
I thought you cared.
I felt so much love for you.
You stood there yet you fled.
You wouldn’t take the time to hear me, see me, get to know me.
Mind games, playing with my head.
You stood as a brick wall.
I could feel your anger inside.
I was picking at your wounds too.
Projecting energetically, trying to fix my head.
There’s nothing wrong with me.
My insides bled.
I felt hurt, rejected, angry, betrayed.
I ran to you, to fix, to fix, to fix.
The bad girl I thought I was as a child.
Distraught, alone, heartbroken.
Unrequited love.
What can I do instead.

So many messages.
So many texts.
Calls when I say “NO.”
Please give it a rest.
They say, I know you can help me.
I love you.
What have I done wrong.
You’ve done nothing.
It’s my shame, blame and guilt.
They’re all singing an ear deafening song.
Nails on a chalkboard.
Skin crawling around.
I scream please give it a rest.
They don’t hear a sound.
I think leave me alone.
I’m not your Mother.
I’m not your home.
Nor am I your lover.
Your life does not lie within my hands.
The same responsibilities fed to me.
As childhood demands.
Anger boiling.
Here, me, now.
You don’t even see me.
I let the tears flow.
Rage screams.
I’m not a bad person.
Nor are you.
I hear me now.
I hear your screams too.

Mirror number thirty something….ninety five.
Why do I keep attracting this.
Am I evil inside.
How many more mirrors till you see.
Stop trying to flee will you.
The loud voice trying to speak inside of me.
There’s nowhere to run.
The darkness hits painfully.
Sexual advances.
Sensations as flames through my body.
Burning, intrusive.
Shaking profusely.
Vomit rising.
Memories haunting.
I tried to run, numb, avoid.
You didn’t hear my “NO.”
Daggers to my stomach,
Piercing, protruding.
Sexual advances.
Pornographic pictures.
It felt so abusive.
My sexual armour.
Induced this.
Thoughts;
What’s wrong with me.
I’ll never have a healthy relationship.
How’s this non-conducive.

Don’t run nor hide.
Come out to play.
It’s happening for you not to you.
Intimacy heals.
Feel, scream, release.
Feel all.
You can meet demons face to face.
Enter the pain.
It’s the only way.
I declare – no longer will this consume me.
I see they are in pain too.
Bringing feeling to each other’s wounds.
The dance we avoid.
This dance of wounding between two.

I decided to feel it all.
No need to run, numb nor hide.
I’m grateful to all those people.
The wounds they picked to show.
I needed to feel.
To say “NO.”
To heal.
To know my limits.
To truly love.
To truly see, feel and hear.
I’m not an object and nor are you.
A saint I’m not nor a sinner too.
I’ve played all roles,
This I cannot deny.
I’m not on a pedestal higher than high.
Just trying to be, day by day.
To grow.
To be love.
In my own unique way.

Bec Hart.

ascension, change, Connection, Inner child, Intuitive, life, musings, philosophy, Poetry, rebirth, relationships, Revolution, spirituality, Trauma

AROUND OR FOUND, FOUND OR AROUND.

When seeking destiny,
Destiny fled afar.
When seeking the path.
The path became a hole.
By doing we lose being.
By being we lose the why’s.
Are somatic memories and beliefs
creating this now reality by disguise.
Are we ready to drop these old lies.
As we lose this who is self.
Give up our old dirt.
Birthing our purest self.
Merging with and as air.
Unlimited potential.
Pure dreams unconsciously manifest.
A weaving of our passion fuelled potential.
Leaving all our old deceptive wounds.
We need not preach old stories forever.
When those truths become our way.
Had it reigned label over us forever.
When teaching is it preaching.
Recreating our old dirt.
Is one truly happy.
In this now.
Or lying in despair.
Gripping onto old hurt.
Illusion, that it’s care.
When it’s truly a sneaky way to heal our former self that we could not bare.
Manipulating form to the one who stands.
In front of us lay bare.
Accept their mirror.
As they themselves.
Are perfect as they stand there.
Can we allow ourself to feel.
Birth the truest you.
We aren’t our past.
Nor in the future.
We are of presence, truth.