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ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

WE ARE THE FIFTH ELEMENT IN OUR PUREST FORM.

REFLECTIONS.

We never find anything if we’re always looking for it.

We never heal the void if we’re always focused upon the void.

Is there actually a void or a perceived lack due to unfullfilment of a conditioned reality/belief that’s not even your truth?

Ultimately full self acceptance of ourself and our now reality is our healing.

Rejection a concept rather than a reality, it’s basically a lack of receptivity due to non resonance in relation to vibration.

In truth you can’t even reject yourself as you can’t leave or disown yourself if you’re breathing and alive. You can however be in none resonance with yourself as you aren’t being true to yourself. Contradictory I know but I am a huge contradiction and I love it.

Division another manmade creation of opposing opinions, entitlements and beliefs based upon others perceived truths of history, currency, languages, countries, ownership, rules, religions yet not limited to – ultimately control.

Separation a complete illusion; a perceived loss of not being held or not being home – we are our home and we are always held. Feel the air, hold your body.

Our purpose where is it, what is it – I’ll hire someone. I shall save you the money, strip yourself bare and be authentically YOU. Our purpose is to be, to accept ourselves, with no need to look elsewhere or to constantly want more. You can’t find you, you’re already here – see yourself, be yourself.

Attachment leads to loss, there’s no need to attach if we accept ourself, our now, our home, our wholeness.

We are the fire, earth, air, water, stars, the world, the universe.

We are each and all.

We are the fifth element, in our purest form.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

The illusion that is.

Gone now are the illusions of the past that we promised our future.

The destruction of the dream, as we lose ourselves in the emptiness of unworthiness yet it is not held in ourselves as it may seem. This merely an illusion of looking outside of ourself for all that we are.

The separation and division of alternate realms, hierarchy, teachers, masters, history, religion – all labels.

We are the consciousness, the unity and the uniqueness we desperately try and fail yet seek.

Creativity is in the flow, moment, spontaneity, the deliverance of the unknown. It is not held in the constant repitition to obtain a flat, perfectionists view of aliveness and art.

As are all emotions, each one lively, screaming out, wanting to be nurtured, held, seen and not transcended or denied. There’s life in all parts, why deny yourself, your truth.

The insanity of holding onto and seeking happiness in a flat, old, stale piece of bread that was never yours to eat as you’re allergic to gluten.

I am not a machine to succumb to societies wants, needs, desires so why is it that I roll out work like a printer that has an endless supply of ink.

Nor do I need to seek the real me, my purpose, money, the answers or enlightenment. For it is in acceptance that we realise that we have and are all we ever needed.

Mother Earth, she just asks you accept yourself so that we rise together, she doesn’t need healing or fixing, just acceptance, love, nurturing and respect.

I am a work of art that shapeshifts as the waves of the sea. Not a game in which I or someone else plays to figure out me.

Take me or leave me, I am as true as can be. Messy, free and undeniably me.

In this I see that I hadn’t been living, I’d been seeking and running from the unmasked, beautiful, raw, naked, wholesome, alive, vessel that is me.

For life is not in lived, it is in living.

Only in the acceptance of self, others and life itself in each unplanned, raw, unknown given moment, can this be.

For if we always seek we shall never find.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

Spare me dear brain.

Feeling raw, beaten and broke.

Rebirth, it really ain’t a joke.

My heart, raw, exposed, torn.

Pleading, I want to be born.

Please I need energy, so little remains.

I surrender, I prayer, please hold me.

I’m bleeding in pain.

Downloads, uploads, purging so deep.

A day to myself provides such little relief.

My head and head torn apart.

As dualistic ways, light versus dark.

Months of bare rawness, rapids, heartbreak.

Please spare me dear God, show me the way.

I fear if this lasts any longer, I can’t take the pain.

ascension, life, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

Allow yourself to fall.

The end of life, the end of life as we knew it.

Holding on desperately trying to save anything we possibly can and why, why do we feel the need to hold on. To destroy ourselves for the sake of the life we once knew yet we were so desperately unhappy with, discontent, bored, outgrown, uninspired. It’s like trying to fit in those pants that you adored when you were 8 years old, or the body you inspire to have based on a perception, or the life you assume another holds the one you desperately wish was yours. You truly know that deep down it’s not going to happen. You have changed, grown, it’s not you or maybe it never was.

We try to salvage the last remnants of what was; the broken relationships, the destructive memories, the job we hate, the hobby that holds no enjoyment and the dreams we built on an illusion of that which we desired.

We suck ourselves dry and wonder why we are thirsty, lifeless and lacklustre.

Yet we still hold on!

Grasping onto the pain, the torture, the memories, the illusions, delusions, the falsified light.

Why me, why can’t I move forward, what did I do wrong, Am I not good enough. I am a failure, I am unworthy. Projections; I am vile, I am bad news, bad luck etc, why me, I know I am right. It’s not fair Sheila down the Street gets all the luck.

I know what I will do, I will do some positive affirmations to “fix” things. I am incredible, I am successful, I am a millionaire, I have a big house, a dream car, I am a supermodel, I have the body of a God, I am thriving, I have sparkly friends that bounce as they walk and sparkle as they empty their bin.

Digging deeper into denial, forcing self deeper into sadness, into a void.

Ooh a void what can I fill that with, I know I know I can’t believe I never thought this before, I so can’t believe it. I know I will work harder my body is literally falling apart, I resemble a scarecrow, I have slept for a whole 1 hour in a week, I’m pumped on caffeine, sugar, alcohol, snacks and an apple for good luck but I am so gonna work harder. All the greats pushed themselves they say so on motivational videos. I’ve heard them keep pushing, keep pushing you won’t fall you’ll fly.

Stuck in a cycle, unwilling to let go. Torturing yourself further, drowning in a sea of despair, an ocean of quicksand, submerged in a grave of your own making, idolizing the perfect lives that others lead and berating, hating, cursing your own.

I know what I need to do, I need to fix myself! I am seriously going to go to the gym, start eating crispbreads and lettuce, I will do healing videos on loop and it will so put me back in alignment. I am so going to be in that vortex and out of this dark dungeon you watch me next week I will be so on fire you’ll need an extinguisher if you are within in a five-mile radius of my radiant self. I can’t believe I never thought of this before! I am so stupid.

Why didn’t that work OMG, I seriously need help. Right I see that people in relationships are always happy. I know I am gonna find me a relationship but this time it is so going to be different.

STOP! You get the point right?

We are that in which we seek, you’ll never find it as you already are it!

Sink, sink deeper!

Allow yourself to feel, to observe, to be curious, breathe.

Allow yourself to fall, to collapse, to break, to cry, to scream, to shout, to be angry, to be broken.

Stay with it though, stay with the here, the now, the present moment. Observe the feelings and sensations, observe the thoughts allow them to flow by, no need to dissect them or know why you feel this way. Just feel.

Allow yourself to truly feel, no judgement, pure feelings, sensations, contradictions, contractions, restrictions, aliveness, numbness.

All of it feel it, breathe into it. Surrender!

Allow yourself to not know who you are, what you want and to not have it all together…break and break some more.

Rest! Allow! Just be!

Pure acceptance and trust.

Be naked, open and vulnerably you!

In this vast nothingness.

Be true to YOU!

You aren’t broken, you aren’t lost, you never were. You are being born, re-born.

This my friend, is living.

In its fullness, aliveness and unedited rawness.

Feel that LIFE.

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THE COLOUR BLACK.

The void of darkness.
Unknown lies there.
An air of nothingness.
Filled with despair.
Calm and still.
Yet rough and wild.
Uneasiness boils.
Bless you child.
The colour black.

I’ll hold you child.
Through the weakness, the void.
Non selective.
No gender.
Great Strength.
Pure joy.
The void is wild.
You can survive this dear child.
Today, tomorrow.
Who knows.
How long will this shall last.
Deep depths.
Destruction.
Simmers angers past.
The colour black.

Observe.
Break.
Surrender.
Rest well.
Feel each release.
The colour black
Shall rise you.
Knees to feet.
You are not alone.
The depth of despair.
Feel.
Engage.
Deafening silence.
I cradle you there.
The colour black.

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ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

If I were to write a book…

If I were to write a self help book many wouldn’t find it very helpful, possibly frustrating in fact.

For all we learn lies within our lives, body, mind and soul not the pages of a book, a guru, a course.

Yes they are great for planting seeds, gaining confirmation and relatability but ultimately your life is your life, your path, your liberation, your knowing.

I am really uneducated in religion, politics, geography, history, spirituality. I like it that way as I know that my knowledge is not tarnished, I have no preconceived ideas, judgements, beliefs associated with anything whatsoever. Just my own knowing which for me is more than enough.

I see myself in the eyes of all and I have peace because there is no belief, judgement, system, ideal standing in my way providing a barrier or a dissonance within or without.

Pure flow, no need for justification or agreement as there is nothing to justify or agree to or with. Don’t get me wrong I have my personal truths but knowing that they are mine and they are rooted in my truth and being. I feel no need to impose on another as they have their truths and ways of being and this too is amazing, so very liberating and insightful.
I truly love freedom, liberation and personal truths and I believe in all yet I believe in nothing.

There’s something magical about trust; trusting your path, trusting flow, trusting source, the universe, God, most importantly yourself and I believe all these are one and in the same breath yet they aren’t.

To love, to love without losing yourself is trust, it’s liberation, it’s wholeness. To love without sacrificing yourself for another is love. We have no need to sacrifice anything in a relationship with another when we are liberated, whole and we have trust.

If we are love then we give love to all there’s no selectivity, conditions, attachments. There’s no disservice and dishonour to oneself as a means to feeling worthy, seen, enough. We enjoy our time together and our time apart. Space, freedom, liberation. There is no need, it is what it is.

You cannot lose yourself in another if you are complete. Unwilling to play the game of push and pull, chase and withdraw, victim and perpetrator etc, etc. Taking full ownership for all in life, giving and receiving, communicating, allowing yourself to be naked, vulnerable, seen, heard. Embracing the messiness of a relationship as well as the joy because all is experience, flow, colour – all is growth.

Connected fully to the ground and the sky you find circumstances within and without shall not alter your state of being, they don’t shake you elate you or shut down and break you like they used to. As you are whole, connected, balanced and fully grounded.

You can’t lose yourself if you don’t give your power away and there’s no need to give your power away if you trust yourself, love yourself, honour yourself – as within, so without.

This past few weeks I’ve really shifted some deep ancestral patterns and it feels so very liberating!

We never fear another, a relationship, a rule, change, anything. What I’ve found is our fear is rooted within our self and that in which we are or aren’t capable of. Ultimately we are capable of everything.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

FROM VICTIM TO NEUTRALITY.

TO BE SEEN.

I didn’t change.
I didn’t get taken over by zombies.
I didn’t join a cult.
I didn’t want attention.
I didn’t get brainwashed by another.
I didn’t make it up.
I didn’t lie.
I was never crazy.

Truth is I’ve always been here.
I’ve always been real.
I’ve always seen life through a different lense.
In life I tried to speak out.
From a young age I tried to speak out.
When I spoke out I was shut down.
All my life shut down;
Physical attacks.
Verbal attacks.
Triangulation.
Bullying.
Vendettas.
Smear campaigns.
Rapes.

I was made to feel like I was wrong.
I was delusional.
I was crazy.
I was evil.
So I hid.
I hid my truth behind a mask.
Behind a false smile.
I kept myself busy.
I numbed myself with alcohol.
I sought validation in relationships.
I feared life, myself and everyone else.

Throughout my life.
An obvious pattern of being shutdown.
Feeling victimised.
Reacting.
Hurting others.
Self harming.
Punishing myself.
Handing over my power.
Giving up.
Suicide attempts.

Trying to explain myself.
Trying to fit in by doing things I didn’t want to.
Saying yes when I truly meant no.
Trying to be heard.
Trying to be liked.

I realised I was speaking to the wrong people.
Trying to gain validation.
Trying to gain love and acceptance.
Craving love.
For the wrong reasons.
To feel understood.
To be a part of “normality.”
To fit in.

Now I see and feel truth, I see the gifts my past delivered, I thank you all and I thank myself!

You’ve taught me;

Forgiveness.
Self love.
Honesty.
Self trust.
Self respect.
Self realisation.
Creativity.
Authenticity.
Justice.
Honour.
Acceptance.
Surrender.
Determination.
Patience.
Peace.
Neutrality.
Balance.
Unconditional love.
Non attachment.
Flow.
Strength.

I’ve been taught that being unique, having a voice, being true to self is an honour.

You’ve taught me that love, trust, wisdom, truth all comes from within.

I am all I sought.
That’s why I felt so lost.
You cannot find that which you are.

I am truth.
I am love.
I am peace.
I am compassion.
I am unity.
I am all.
We are all.
I am.
You are.
We are.

The illusion is that there is a victim and a perpetrator in all of this.

The truth is we all come from a place of pain or love.

People hurting people.

In turn hurting self.

Pain attracts pain.

Love attracts love.

Unhealed attracts unhealed.

Wholeness attracts wholeness.

When I was being attacked externally, I was attacking myself from the inside, I take full ownership for this.

A mirror.

An illusion of no illusion.

I am my truth.

I am my authority.

Nobody can ever take that away.

Today I share my voice without fear.

I am grateful for life.

I am deeply humbled.

For all of its colours.

It’s wealth.

I love myself and in turn I love you.

I am grateful for being held unconditionally by source even when I failed to truly believe.
It is in those darkest times I was held the most, I see that now.

The truth is my light shines so bright because I have faced the deepest darkness and got truly lost.

The paradox is that it was in that darkness I found pure light.

Through control I gained liberation.
Through torture I became unconditional love.
When I thought I was nothing, I realised I am everything.
Through hell I found heaven.
That lies here on Earth.
There is no destination.
There is just here and now.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

Separation as our core wound.

CORE WOUNDING.

What if our core wounding was seperation.
We all endure and feel seperation.

Seperation creates a mental loop one in which we cannot unravel as it’s an infinite illusion.

The unsolvable jigsaw of illusion that’s re-affirmed through action of another.

Whereas the true wound lies in seperation
from initial birth – the beginning of time as such.

The beginning of the beginning of it all
From the stars and beyond.
If there ever was a beginning as such.

Reflected in every lifetime, every living thing.
Universe.
Planet’s.
World’s.
Stars.
Childbirth.
Self.

Reflected, triggered and confirmed in events via People, places, things.

So we look to an initial event in a linear fashion which cannot be remembered or found.
We feel the impact of the core wounding in our bodies thus creating a loop of what happened to us;

Trigger = I feel it – I cannot understand it – what happened.

A never ending looped illusion.
As we are never separate from anything.
All is here albeit in different form at times.
A core wounding that unites us all in separation.
Unity in seperation.
As there is no separation.
All is energy.
All is self.
There is no core wound.
Nothing leaves.
Just changes form.
As we are everything.
We are the illusion.
An illusion of non illusion.

Bec Hart.