ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND.

I understand myself ❤ It’s so awesome feeling into this.

Yet it’s something I already knew just hadn’t grounded.

I so totally understand myself, I have for a long time yet somehow, somewhere I felt it was important for others to understand me.

I handed my power away through a need to be understood.

Knowing that’s all I’ve ever needed yet have search externally for validation most of my life.

I know who I am and I know and acknowledge myself wholeheartedly.

No need to justify myself, answer anyone, state my case, control situations, judge, question myself or others.

How liberating is this!

I just breathe, smile and fall deeper into understanding myself, loving myself and accepting all that arises.

In loving and understanding myself, I love and understand all.

As I am all.

You are me.

I = we.

Nobody is ever apart.

So powerful, so very, very powerful!

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

WHAT IS TRUTH?

At times I love avoiding things and telling myself they will just go away with no response/avoidance.

Today I chose to reply, I took the driving seat and spoke my truth.

Truth is a funny thing as your truth may not be another’s truth.

As ultimately there is no truth as such.

You see if we all read a book and explained the book after we’d read it we would all have a have a different perception.

There is no right or wrong merely different perspectives, perceptions.

So in that what is truth, is there truth or is it merely a personal perception.

This is why I don’t follow to path of a teacher, guru, way of being as such as their teachings are through their lens.

I have my own lens, I need not look through another to see.

I wonder if God had/has a coach, a guru, a path that’s already visible and embedded in others perceptions or if he/she is an all seeing all knowing freely flowing consciousness of vastness waiting to be inhaled.

I choose the path I can’t see, it’s not an easy path. Sometimes I fall down holes, swim in turbulent seas, skip through fields of gold yet I know I am held, guided and filled with pure unfiltered knowledge directly from source flavoured with my own unique perspective.

Today I carved a different path, I chose a different response, I created a new neuropathway, an upgrade in my DNA, a different route for my ancestors.

One where we can all be free.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE THE TRUTH.

Sometimes when wounds are so deep and so deeply buried we can’t actually see them until our teachers, life mirrors reinact the scenario for us to truly “see.”

Yesterday I did a video on standing in my power and boundaries, it was like going backwards through the steps to see what on earth was going on. After it still falling on deaf ears I was getting seriously frustrated and feeling separation although I wasn’t getting lost in it like the beginning of April when this came up then.

I affirmed to myself, I’m here I’m not going to lose myself. Whilst opening my heart, falling deeper into self love and knowing regardless of what was occurring, we are all equal.

Asking the question what am I being shown, what’s the higher perspective.

All along I’d been wondering if it’s my mirror and couldn’t seem to feel what I was being shown because I was looking at it from a totally different angle.

In reality, I hadn’t forgiven myself for shutting down and going into a constant freeze state from when I was in a relationship where no wouldn’t be taken as an answer. Thus attracting in situations where I wasn’t being heard, seen and was being constantly bombarded with unwanted advances, (mirrored experience).

I was being shown that my past was causing separation within myself therefore without.

Buried trauma isn’t always very accessible, it takes a lot of courage, patience and triggering to see and delve into those dark hidden parts, to find the terror ridden child, adult etc. So it’s not so much about new patterns or a new way of being or that we are going backwards, it’s more the light flooding the darkness to reveal that which we’ve repressed, numbed and denied within self.

To hold, forgive and be with ourselves once again, just as we were before, yet with a little more light, insight and wisdom. Patience, kindness and compassion for self. There is no rush.

Submerging into deeper self love, deeper forgiveness and acceptance.
Knowing all of our answers, healing, codes and light lie deep within ourselves.

Always a lesson 🙏❤ Blessings in disguise.

Much love.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

TRAUMA RESPONSE VS A NEW WAY OF BEING.

TRAUMA RESPONSE VS A NEW WAY OF BEING.

Why choose to see things my way when I can see things our way.
In every moment we can choose to look at life from a new perspective, through the eyes of a child, with intrigue, interest.
Through the eyes of another as we are all.
We are all versions of self, mirrors from past, present, future.
Choosing to see ourselves in another, their essence of love.
Allowing a beautiful journey of personal self love to unfold; compassion, acceptance, non judgement, forgiveness.
A flower opening to the sun, ready to bloom.
We can be the one we needed as well as the one we are.
Today I choose to see life through a new lens, a life in the new.
There’s nothing to survive anymore yet everything to live for.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND.

I understand as I have been each and all in this game of life.

I’ve worn the t-shirt, held a knife.

The blade held upon my arm, to torture myself to cause harm.

The shame, the blame, the guilt, the fear.

I couldn’t love I wore destruction, poured tears.

I wanted to die, I projected pain, I cheated, I lied.

I was Mans Mother’s biggest fear.

I seduced and manipulated, hid the proof.

Worthlessness, pain, the hidden truth.

A victim of torture for most of my life.

Yet also the perpetrator, in this game called life.

So when you look at my light and say, “She’s so bright.”

It’s because I’ve known pain, since childhood.

It birthed my light.

It’s so easy for us to acknowledge the light we hold but today I really want to explore my darkness, I feel it’s time for radical honesty, truth.

In my life I have really been extremely co-dependant, love addicted, obsessed to a point – always wanting what I couldn’t have, it became a challenge. This was to try and hide from my pain, you see when you put your life in the hands of another you don’t really have to take ownership do you. I wasn’t consciously aware of this at the time but I am now. In this co-dependency there had always been so much manipulation to get my own way, to hide from the truth and to deny seeking love elsewhere when the voids weren’t filled any longer.

In my life I have projected pain onto others, lashing out, judging, gossiping, at times quite venomous and apathetic. The constant arguments, the drink fuelled nights to try and numb myself so I didn’t have to truly feel or face reality.

I stayed in extremely unhealthy relationships as I feared being alone, scared to face all I had been told and shown which was that I was not enough, unlovable, thick, fat, bad.

In my life I have been a victim I have been bullied, beaten, raped, used, judged, objectified. I have been punished for things I didn’t do. I have been lied to, denied my truth, left to die. I handed my power and worth over like it didn’t mean a thing because that to me was love.

Long gone are these days but the imprint is still visible, until I speak my truth.

I raped myself through not knowing how to love myself, to be myself, to honour myself.

I take full responsibility for all.

As I merge my shadow and light, my masculine and feminine, I notice that all I was flashes before me. I see it in others, yet I the mirror, the amplifier. I don’t react or judge as I too have been each and all, I do however speak my truth.

It takes a strong person to accept an honest person, someone who isn’t afraid to speak their truth, to say no, to not agree with what is said and be respectful back.

It takes a strong person to admit their faults, their self hatred and uproot all of their wounds. Knowing they will be judged, seen as crazy, unhinged, mentally ill.

It takes a warrior to be naked, raw, vulnerable, to lay bare in the deepest darkness to heal, breathe, live and truly love.

Let us all be strong, let us all be warriors.

For in the darkness, there is pure light.

Through judgement there is understanding.

Through self hate there is the deepest love.

Through honesty, you find truth, respect and worth.

It takes strength to stand in your power and be accountable.

I see I was both victim and perpetrator and everything in-between.

Today I am truth, I won’t deny myself any longer.

I accept all of me.

I’m not perfect, never will be.

I won’t lose myself again.

I shan’t deny myself.

Of this I promise myself.

I just fall deeper and deeper into self love.

Accepting all of me.

A flower opening, to see the sun.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

YOU ARE STRONG.

YOU ARE STRONG.

Triggers are blessings.
Yet they feel so raw.
To sit in the dark
In the depth.
Takes strength.
You are strong.

To allow emotions to be felt.
No probing.
No loss of self.
No judgement.
All pain exposed.
To sit with yourself.
You are strong.

To allow the raw, aching heart to break.
To speak, for it does speak.
It yearns to be heard.
It beats strong.
There’s still life.
To openly listen.
You are strong.

You may feel sick.
You may vomit.
The pain may seem unbearable.
Yet it is so alive.
Not bypassed.
Nor projected.
No blame.
You are strong.

In deep vulnerability.
These times of great healing.
You may feel lonely.
You may yearn love.
You may wish to abscond.
Seek another or a fix.
Your love is all that’s needed.
Learn to love, to listen.
Sink deeper.
You are strong.

In raw aching pain.
You may feel there’s fault within.
You are perfect.
There is no blame.
Sink deeper into love.
Non judgement.
Embrace the pain.
This time you shan’t punish yourself.
Breathing with power.
You are strong.

For in this fragility.
Is true strength.
Truth.
Liberation.
You didn’t leave yourself this time.
Presence in the lostness.
You sank deeper.
You learnt to love the darkness.
Your wholeness.
Shadow and light intertwined.
Welcome home.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

ENERGY VAMPIRE.

The energy vampire lies within.

The one that’s hidden, the wounds that get triggered when someone dares to challenge your version of truth.

The wounds from the past not the now, these are merely sensations, your inner child wanting to be heard, seen, understand and loved.

Know if this is playing out as you’ll go into survival mode when you don’t like what’s appearing; fight, flight, freeze.

You can’t maintain a conversation, for then you’ll have to admit there’s still pain within and that’s scary or is it?

People are seen as victims or perpetrators rather than two people that are discovering unhealed hidden wound neither victim nor perpetrator.

There’s a need to seek validation from others or to project.

Just because our inner children feel helpless it doesn’t mean to say we are.

In a situation where two people are triggered, breathe, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, non judgement. Allow yourself to feel into what you are feeling, own it.

Remembering it’s not a competition and you are not responsible for another’s pain, just yours.

Coming out of survival mode takes time, be kind to yourself and know you are where you need to be and you are more than enough.

Allowing yourself to be the love that you are, which you so desperately needed as a child.

Bec Hart.