ascension, life, musings, rebirth, spirituality, Uncategorized

QUIVERING TERRITORY, NEW GROUNDS.

QUIVERING TERRITORY, NEW GROUNDS.

Today’s realisation is that sometimes when we feel lost it’s actually because we’ve broken through into the unknown, a place we’ve never been before.

A deep vulnerability in this place of nothingness, a deep grief and purging of the old self or at least what we thought was self.
Old coping mechanisms, distraction techniques and false beliefs won’t be entertained in this place as integrity sweeps in and you just know that life is not and will never be the same anymore.

Our soul and source shall not accept anything less that full accountability, integrity, respect, kindness, authenticity and love.

Sitting with what is in it’s raw, shaking, firey energy with an undertone of deep uncertainty.

Choosing to breathe deeper into self and source to anchor self, to allow a greater depth and to be fully here without running, escaping or abandoning self to run back into the familiar.

Also this deep knowing there’s no option remaining to do that anymore, something has really shifted yet it’s not very clear yet; the windscreen of the vehicle is held deep in the fog of the fire.

Unfamiliar territory!

It wasn’t stagnation which was originally thought yet an opportunity of familiarisation within a new territory, life, living, realms of self; a new home as such.

A new home, in a land not yet ventured but for the moment a little to shaky to explore.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

FALLING IN LOVE WITH LOVE.

FALLING IN LOVE WITH LOVE.

If we choose to solely focus upon that which we feel for another.

The feelings that arise when we think, contact or relate to another.

We are falling in love with a temporary state or an illusion as such.

For we aren’t our feelings they are reactions.

That which we see in another is a mirror of us so our feelings, from my perception stem from our relationship with self.

When we can connect with another and feel that flow, we feel understood and this feels good.

We can see ourselves in them and this can create a bleed through if we aren’t aware that we aren’t our feelings and what we feel isn’t them or the basis of the “relationship.”

We are falling in or out of love with parts of self in that moment in the mirrored other.

Until we accept ourself fully in our vast array of colours, waves, perfections, imperfections and states, we can run the risk of the push and pull dynamic, dependency, rejection, conditions and attachments in a relationship.

Two halves merges into a whole.

Two wholes intertwine and rise.

Seeing someone in their wholeness, all colours, all flavours, with no attachment to who they are or should be allows for us the see the genuine other in their truth at each given moment.

I see you.

I hear you.

I feel you.

We are love, it’s not something that is found or fought for.

It’s our natural state.

In fullness.

Wholeness.

In laughter and pain.

Love doesn’t waver.

It just is.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

From the outside looking in.

From the outside looking our lives are not how most have expressed and perceived it to be, only we truly know our actual reality.

In a world where we are taught to wear masks, hide feelings, seek outside of ourselves we can easily look to another and compare what we are or aren’t.

I really wanted to write about this as I feel it’s something that needs to be openly acknowledged and expressed.

It’s something that needs to be heard, felt and undressed to it’s raw, naked, authentic bones.

We can look to social media the photos, the statuses, the endless flow of information.

The good, the bad, the ugly.

We may judge, assume, compare.

What assumptions have you made of me for example?

I’ve been told I’m wealthy, successful, married, single, kind, unkind, crazy, talented, unhinged, real, false, pretty, ugly, sexy, a tease, angelic, ignorant….the list goes on.

Labels bore me!

Spiritual bypassing annoys me!

I’d really like you to feel into this, who do you see me as?

Who do you see yourself as?

I’m your reflection as you are mine, we are one yet not – shadow, light interwined.

Do you see light, dark, shame, anger, rage, empowerment, love, compassion and all that’s inbetween. Do you project your denied parts onto me.

Do you compare yourself, do you see yourself as better, less or the same?

So truth is I’m pretty much an introvert although I’m great around people too and love adventure and exploration, I totally need balance.

Balance to me is the key to life in all.

Time to self, it’s so important, yet so understated. It can be judged as selfishness when it truly isn’t.

Could you eat your vegetables, your life source if nobody bothered to water them and they shrivelled up into a dried, lifeless state of existence?

I am seriously in tune with my body, mind and soul. I know exactly what’s going on in there, as emotions arise I love to feel them, create from them and express them vividly, raw, exposed.

To me this is authenticity, being your truth, accepting all that arises shaming no parts, feeling all, observing all, deep submersion, radical self love.

My journey, the road home with self love as the now medicine.

Previously fuelled from the severe self hate I had deeply embedded in my core and external obsessions of needing someone or something to “fix me.”

Success what is success, we are success.

I’m self employed, it is far from easy I have learned so much and my business is taking time to be noticed and thrive.

I like others have struggled to pay bills then the universe sends me a donation at the last moment, never letting me down, so much faith needed.

Laying firm foundations I’ve found is essential and the brickwork has toppled more times than I care to explain.

It’s frustrating yet so rewarding. I could easily give in, think I’m shit, throw a pity party, compare myself to others (which at times I have), which is ok. In truth I don’t know their story, just merely a concocted idea in my mind, an assumption with self punishment behind it yet I no longer lose myself which is serious progress.

I have faith though, I have faith in divine timing and that all happens for a reason. I’m not wealthy externally just yet but internally I am overflowing with love and abundance.

This most definitely is why my business has given me so many lessons, so much struggle. I can not be shaken externally if my core is strong within. So much wisdom, so much strength and courage and yes it has truly broke me at times, the fear, the unknown, the unworthiness, the lack of money.

It’s broke me so I can see my value isn’t in an external gain; situations, places, things yet I’m always provided for.

This also reflected in relationships as in my past I looked to others to fill those voids; the loneliness, the self hate, the desperate child within wanting safety, security, understanding, love.

Always wondering what was wrong with me, what had I done wrong, why weren’t I good enough when I wasn’t seeing “positive” results on the outside.

In fact I could probably say that every area of life externally has been starved of oxygen so that I could go within and work inside out.

The universe is wise, it has a master plan.

Life’s tough, this journey isn’t for the faint hearted, there is no good or bad it’s all a colourful journey and in that is acceptance for all.

Just a short reflection, am I the person you perceived?

Maybe this can help us all see we are all where we need to be, nobody better nor less and all with their own unique gifts and lessons.

So many blessings in our lessons, our lives, our stories, our true selves.

Allow yourself to see, allow yourself to be free.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

THEY SAID I WAS CRAZY.

THEY SAID I WAS CRAZY.

They said I was crazy, I used to believe them.

I stripped my whole being down in an attempt to fix my insanity.

I drank to hide my insanity, the alcohol fuelled my anger and pain yet numbed my craziness.

I stayed in unhealthy relationships as they were the only ones who would want someone who’s crazy, this is what I was told, this I believed.

I disowned myself as there was something so seriously wrong with me. I was crazy I had been told by many.

I was unloveable and I would never be happy as I was crazy, who would want me. I held on feared letting go, I broke into many pieces a shell of myself, I felt crazy.

I wasn’t to speak out or I’d be shut down and have it reaffirmed that I was crazy, psycho, lying again, something seriously wrong with me.

I was angry, rageful, unhinged each time I was broken beyond my limit. Again something very wrong with me because I should accept I was crazy and sit in a corner quiet, pretty, unheard.

I took ownership of my own ship, I chose self love.

I started to see the truth – I was a game changer, I see life through a different lens, I am here to create change, stand strong, be seen and heard!

Crazy is actually sanity, sanity in an environment of denial.

I wasn’t crazy I was seeing and feeling through an illusion that others did not wish to see.

I was telling truths when others were denying reality, it’s easier to call someone crazy than to take ownership, face change.

Change is scary, fear takes over, it’s not me its you – you’re crazy!

You show your emotions oh well here’s a label, “you’re crazy.”

It’s time to wake up, to take back our power and realise if we’ve ever been labelled as crazy, it’s because we are seen as different.

We open eyes, we speak and live a truth that triggers people into feeling their hidden pain, wounding, authenticity.

That’s difficult for some to accept so it’s easier to shut us down, strip us of our dignity and label us rather than admit they are scared, in pain, lost and also feeling disconnected. Something that both are feeling simultaneously.

We can choose to keep ourselves locked in this cycle of feeling like there’s something wrong with us, seeking validation, projecting, self harming, victim vs perpetrator, being a label, fitting in, seeking the invisible.

Or we can embrace that being true to ourselves, original, authentic, honest, sensitive – isn’t crazy, it’s craze free.

How do you see me, I am merely your mirror?

Crazy or craze free!

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality, Trauma

I’M A WARRIOR.

I’M A WARRIOR.

I don’t need to be told who I am.
I already know who I am.
For it’s taken me a long time of pretending to be everything that I am not, to get here.
Walls torn down.
Tower cracked to pieces.
Body bled out.
Self induced poison neutralised.
Forgiveness the element of peace.

Foundations built on solid ground.
Body layed bare.
Exposed, open, honest, passionate.
A mirror of truth.
Do you like what you see.
Do you project and glare.
Do you undress me with your eyes.
Down boy, I’m here and you’re not there.

I need not to be told my strengths and weaknesses.
For I know myself deeper than the ocean.
I know my capabilities.
My imperfections.
I accept all of me.
Of this I’m sure you see.

Love vibrates at my deepest core.
I need not explain myself anymore.
Nor make apologies for speaking out.
In a world that promotes ladies being seen and not heard.
I am here to say, I am here to be heard and seen.
I say this loud and clear.
I make no apologies.
Sometimes silence speaks the loudest words.

I’m built of self respect.
I am filled and flowing with all colours.
I am here to be love.
To understand.
To peacemake.
To be true.
Yet to speak out all at the same time.
That’s what warriors do.

I’m here as I am.
Take me or leave me.
This is your personal choice.
I am a warrior.
You may as well give up the fight.
Embrace your truth and self.
Lay down the war within without.
Declare you are a warrior too.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND.

I understand myself ❤ It’s so awesome feeling into this.

Yet it’s something I already knew just hadn’t grounded.

I so totally understand myself, I have for a long time yet somehow, somewhere I felt it was important for others to understand me.

I handed my power away through a need to be understood.

Knowing that’s all I’ve ever needed yet have search externally for validation most of my life.

I know who I am and I know and acknowledge myself wholeheartedly.

No need to justify myself, answer anyone, state my case, control situations, judge, question myself or others.

How liberating is this!

I just breathe, smile and fall deeper into understanding myself, loving myself and accepting all that arises.

In loving and understanding myself, I love and understand all.

As I am all.

You are me.

I = we.

Nobody is ever apart.

So powerful, so very, very powerful!

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, musings, rebirth, relationships, spirituality

WHAT IS TRUTH?

At times I love avoiding things and telling myself they will just go away with no response/avoidance.

Today I chose to reply, I took the driving seat and spoke my truth.

Truth is a funny thing as your truth may not be another’s truth.

As ultimately there is no truth as such.

You see if we all read a book and explained the book after we’d read it we would all have a have a different perception.

There is no right or wrong merely different perspectives, perceptions.

So in that what is truth, is there truth or is it merely a personal perception.

This is why I don’t follow to path of a teacher, guru, way of being as such as their teachings are through their lens.

I have my own lens, I need not look through another to see.

I wonder if God had/has a coach, a guru, a path that’s already visible and embedded in others perceptions or if he/she is an all seeing all knowing freely flowing consciousness of vastness waiting to be inhaled.

I choose the path I can’t see, it’s not an easy path. Sometimes I fall down holes, swim in turbulent seas, skip through fields of gold yet I know I am held, guided and filled with pure unfiltered knowledge directly from source flavoured with my own unique perspective.

Today I carved a different path, I chose a different response, I created a new neuropathway, an upgrade in my DNA, a different route for my ancestors.

One where we can all be free.

Bec Hart.