ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

If I were to write a book…

If I were to write a self help book many wouldn’t find it very helpful, possibly frustrating in fact.

For all we learn lies within our lives, body, mind and soul not the pages of a book, a guru, a course.

Yes they are great for planting seeds, gaining confirmation and relatability but ultimately your life is your life, your path, your liberation, your knowing.

I am really uneducated in religion, politics, geography, history, spirituality. I like it that way as I know that my knowledge is not tarnished, I have no preconceived ideas, judgements, beliefs associated with anything whatsoever. Just my own knowing which for me is more than enough.

I see myself in the eyes of all and I have peace because there is no belief, judgement, system, ideal standing in my way providing a barrier or a dissonance within or without.

Pure flow, no need for justification or agreement as there is nothing to justify or agree to or with. Don’t get me wrong I have my personal truths but knowing that they are mine and they are rooted in my truth and being. I feel no need to impose on another as they have their truths and ways of being and this too is amazing, so very liberating and insightful.
I truly love freedom, liberation and personal truths and I believe in all yet I believe in nothing.

There’s something magical about trust; trusting your path, trusting flow, trusting source, the universe, God, most importantly yourself and I believe all these are one and in the same breath yet they aren’t.

To love, to love without losing yourself is trust, it’s liberation, it’s wholeness. To love without sacrificing yourself for another is love. We have no need to sacrifice anything in a relationship with another when we are liberated, whole and we have trust.

If we are love then we give love to all there’s no selectivity, conditions, attachments. There’s no disservice and dishonour to oneself as a means to feeling worthy, seen, enough. We enjoy our time together and our time apart. Space, freedom, liberation. There is no need, it is what it is.

You cannot lose yourself in another if you are complete. Unwilling to play the game of push and pull, chase and withdraw, victim and perpetrator etc, etc. Taking full ownership for all in life, giving and receiving, communicating, allowing yourself to be naked, vulnerable, seen, heard. Embracing the messiness of a relationship as well as the joy because all is experience, flow, colour – all is growth.

Connected fully to the ground and the sky you find circumstances within and without shall not alter your state of being, they don’t shake you elate you or shut down and break you like they used to. As you are whole, connected, balanced and fully grounded.

You can’t lose yourself if you don’t give your power away and there’s no need to give your power away if you trust yourself, love yourself, honour yourself – as within, so without.

This past few weeks I’ve really shifted some deep ancestral patterns and it feels so very liberating!

We never fear another, a relationship, a rule, change, anything. What I’ve found is our fear is rooted within our self and that in which we are or aren’t capable of. Ultimately we are capable of everything.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, relationships, Trauma



I didn’t change.
I didn’t get taken over by zombies.
I didn’t join a cult.
I didn’t want attention.
I didn’t get brainwashed by another.
I didn’t make it up.
I didn’t lie.
I was never crazy.

Truth is I’ve always been here.
I’ve always been real.
I’ve always seen life through a different lense.
In life I tried to speak out.
From a young age I tried to speak out.
When I spoke out I was shut down.
All my life shut down;
Physical attacks.
Verbal attacks.
Smear campaigns.

I was made to feel like I was wrong.
I was delusional.
I was crazy.
I was evil.
So I hid.
I hid my truth behind a mask.
Behind a false smile.
I kept myself busy.
I numbed myself with alcohol.
I sought validation in relationships.
I feared life, myself and everyone else.

Throughout my life.
An obvious pattern of being shutdown.
Feeling victimised.
Hurting others.
Self harming.
Punishing myself.
Handing over my power.
Giving up.
Suicide attempts.

Trying to explain myself.
Trying to fit in by doing things I didn’t want to.
Saying yes when I truly meant no.
Trying to be heard.
Trying to be liked.

I realised I was speaking to the wrong people.
Trying to gain validation.
Trying to gain love and acceptance.
Craving love.
For the wrong reasons.
To feel understood.
To be a part of “normality.”
To fit in.

Now I see and feel truth, I see the gifts my past delivered, I thank you all and I thank myself!

You’ve taught me;

Self love.
Self trust.
Self respect.
Self realisation.
Unconditional love.
Non attachment.

I’ve been taught that being unique, having a voice, being true to self is an honour.

You’ve taught me that love, trust, wisdom, truth all comes from within.

I am all I sought.
That’s why I felt so lost.
You cannot find that which you are.

I am truth.
I am love.
I am peace.
I am compassion.
I am unity.
I am all.
We are all.
I am.
You are.
We are.

The illusion is that there is a victim and a perpetrator in all of this.

The truth is we all come from a place of pain or love.

People hurting people.

In turn hurting self.

Pain attracts pain.

Love attracts love.

Unhealed attracts unhealed.

Wholeness attracts wholeness.

When I was being attacked externally, I was attacking myself from the inside, I take full ownership for this.

A mirror.

An illusion of no illusion.

I am my truth.

I am my authority.

Nobody can ever take that away.

Today I share my voice without fear.

I am grateful for life.

I am deeply humbled.

For all of its colours.

It’s wealth.

I love myself and in turn I love you.

I am grateful for being held unconditionally by source even when I failed to truly believe.
It is in those darkest times I was held the most, I see that now.

The truth is my light shines so bright because I have faced the deepest darkness and got truly lost.

The paradox is that it was in that darkness I found pure light.

Through control I gained liberation.
Through torture I became unconditional love.
When I thought I was nothing, I realised I am everything.
Through hell I found heaven.
That lies here on Earth.
There is no destination.
There is just here and now.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

Separation as our core wound.


What if our core wounding was seperation.
We all endure and feel seperation.

Seperation creates a mental loop one in which we cannot unravel as it’s an infinite illusion.

The unsolvable jigsaw of illusion that’s re-affirmed through action of another.

Whereas the true wound lies in seperation
from initial birth – the beginning of time as such.

The beginning of the beginning of it all
From the stars and beyond.
If there ever was a beginning as such.

Reflected in every lifetime, every living thing.

Reflected, triggered and confirmed in events via People, places, things.

So we look to an initial event in a linear fashion which cannot be remembered or found.
We feel the impact of the core wounding in our bodies thus creating a loop of what happened to us;

Trigger = I feel it – I cannot understand it – what happened.

A never ending looped illusion.
As we are never separate from anything.
All is here albeit in different form at times.
A core wounding that unites us all in separation.
Unity in seperation.
As there is no separation.
All is energy.
All is self.
There is no core wound.
Nothing leaves.
Just changes form.
As we are everything.
We are the illusion.
An illusion of non illusion.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

Invisibility and shut down during childhood and adulthood.

As a child especially in times of patriarchal society.

We were shown and told to be seen yet not heard.

This was and still can be reflected in parenting, schools, relationships, workplaces and such like.

As a women and very sensitive child I found these ways torturous.

The humiliation, the put downs, the segregation, the inferiority, the sexualized or gender based derogatory behaviours and comments. Feeling like I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t allowed a voice and if I spoke I was never heard or was very quickly shut down.

I feared authority, in fact I feared authority most of my adult life for many I put my trust into failed to treat me with love, care and respect. Mainly as they thought patriarchal ways were normality and continued the spiral of behaviours and justified their ways by being around those who accept this as normality.

I entered, attracted and painstakingly endured countless extremely controlling relationships and stayed in them as I had been taught as a child this was not only normality but it was I who was flawed.

Yesterday as situation was presented to me to address these wounds. I was triggered. My body fearful, my voice shut down, my body trembling in fear. My body switched into a complete sensory overload yet somehow remained able to not numb or run but accept my feelings and speak about how I felt.

It took me back to times in childhood of speaking my truth when something didn’t feel right only to be dismissed and humiliated. As those in authority didn’t wish to see their patriarchal ways or their childhood wounds were they too felt this overwhelming inferiority by their caregivers.

I had a realisation that everytime I spoke out, others were involved – triangulated and manipulated to back up their story, their perceived idea of power. Leaving me feeling more and more humiliated, shamed, broken, lost, pained and overwhelmingly like there was something seriously wrong with me.

I was told how to feel, not listened to how I truly felt this hurt, I felt invisible, unheard, unloved, emotionally unmet. In time I couldn’t name my feelings as I felt that what I was feeling wasn’t the true feeling as that’s what I had been told – after all adults/caregivers are always right.

Yesterday I had an epiphany of what shame and humiliation truly felt like felt and fully accepted and justified by myself, my own mind.

As a child if I had tried to speak out when the dust had settled it was like I had been transported to the set of the Waltons; happy families, schooling etc. Everything pushed under the rug never to be spoken about again.

Only I didn’t feel this way underneath I was tortured, in so much pain, misunderstood and feeling like there must be something wrong as nobody else felt this way. I eventually disowned myself and took to harming myself in many ways as an adult as each time I was shut down I associated it with me being “bad.”

The past weeks this has been shown to me in so many ways on a subtle level but this past 24 hours after being triggered which I’m truly grateful for,

I’ve really submerged into these feelings, thoughts and ways with a childlike intrigue floating not drowning. Allowing all, observing all, accepting all and forgiving myself and seeing that others are hurting too. I’ve not rushed to fix myself, close off my feelings, I honestly still feel quite raw as I write this.

I’ve realised that this was the fear I was holding about moving forward into a romantic relationship as I really haven’t experienced love from a partner in a respectful way.

I realise that for most of my life I have been brutally broken by patriarchy, control and men and women that cannot handle my power, my truth, my beauty, my originality.

In these times I have learned so very much about myself, life and the importance of self respect, self love, being true to myself and my needs.

That balance of my personal divine feminine and masculine, yin and yang is so very important or I too can capture heavy dualistic ways.

I have and continue to master full acceptance, responsibility and ownership for all that arises within me from an outer trigger, a mirror, a teacher.

I know the importance of healing my Mother and Father wounds so I too do not place upon another, my inner wounding as I realise I am the change that I desire.

As the patriarchal males/females placed their Mother wounding onto me and all those before and who stand beside me I write this in the hope that they too desire change.

I vow to commit to never allowing my voice, my being, my body to be shamed ever again. I speak my truth loudly, clearly so that my daughter shall know this is not love. I speak and act clearly to hopefully show my son and other males the way forward. So they do not feel this is normality in the hope that they too will not succumb to these ways and decide to be the change that is already occuring.

To both men and women alike that are making these changes, you are incredible and I bow to you!

To my beloved other, I hope to move forward with you without fear and I ask….


If I ask for your help
can you offer it freely without shutting me down.
Can you hear me.
As I speak.
Without assuming you have all the answers.
Can you allow me to feel.
Rather than tell me how I should feel as it feels less painful for you.
Can you hold space for me.
If I struggle to capture my strength in any given moment.
Can you handle my truth.
My power.
My voice.
Without a need to make me small.
Or shut me up.
Can you accept me as I am.
Without manipulating me into a box to fit societies conditioned ways of being.
Can you handle all of me bare, naked, honest, unkempt.
Without a need to humiliate.
Shun me.
Belittle me.
Or validate yourself by exposing my vulnerabilities through words to others.
As I am not a sheep following old ways and orders.
Can you love me as I am.
Accept me in my wholeness.
Embrace me in my power.
Can we rise together.
No bleed through.
Pure respect.
Can you handle a strong women.
Can you smile as I rise.
Hold me as I fall.
Equally both as beautiful.
Can you take me as I am.
Can you respect me through all.

ascension, life, relationships

Romance, love and fallacy.


Often I am asked if I’m single, married, taken as if it’s a badge of honour to be projected to the world.

We can feel it’s a necessity in life to be with another as you’re viewed in societal normality as a failure if you aren’t.

Oh dear she/He can’t keep a partner what’s wrong with them.

Ooh they’re single they must be closed off, hard work, unavailable.

Awesome they’re single that’s means I’m in with a chance.

Aww that couple stay with each other through thick and thin, it doesn’t matter that they aren’t happy whatsoever they truly love each other, that’s what love is right?

What if we got it all wrong from the start and we were conditioned to believe in these fairytales, myths, fallacy’s.

What if karmic relationships were here to return us to the state of purity.

What if each relationship brought out the blood, guts and gore deeply ingrained in our deepest core for us to break to be rebuilt and broken again and again until we actually truly see ourselves.

What if we weren’t meant to be with the same person all of our lives as it prevents our personal evolution.

What if these relationships were merely contracts to return us to wholeness for the ultimate unity within ourselves.

To see ourselves as enough, as the love that we are.

Without a need for another to “fix” us, “validate” us or repair our broken or bruised inner child, teen or voided self that is calling out for the love, care, nurturing and acceptance that we can ultimately only give to ourselves.

What if we brought ourselves into wholeness and allowed that time and space for self.

To be happy within ourselves.

To take full authority over ones life, feelings, emotions, disowned parts. Viewing, nurturing, enjoying, accepting and loving inner and equally reflective outer world. What if?

What if we remained whole and found we had no need to seek, to run, to hide and we lay there in our glory; vulnerable, naked, satisfied and whole.

What if you were just one soul that ultimately wanted to be whole alone. One who has love for all and has no desire to be in unity with another.

What if then two whole souls came together drawn by an unexplainable force knowing that this is no romantic comedy or a walk in the park. Yet a union of pure love, to evolve, to rise together as one yet as two.

A relationship starts with self and ultimately ends with self. We are that in which we seek and that in which we are cannot ever be sought and found outside of self.

Love was never lost.

You cannot lose that in which you are.

We do not find love.

We are love.

Bec Hart.

ascension, life, relationships, Trauma


As a wounded child we may feel we need to be more, have more, do more. To be accepted by another.

We may also confuse money and worth as they intertwine into a huge ball of shame, blame, guilt and unworthiness in the pit of our stomach.

We may have been bought (as it seemed) for our silence, a bribe, hush money. We may have been treated via Birthdays, Christmas and for being generally good.

We are taught to be in well paid jobs we may not like as this is the ultimate paradise – so much confusion, conflict and dissolution.

This can make us feel unworthy, unseen, not enough or seen for all the wrong reasons and it is especially obvious in relationship to self, others and within our career.

It can lead to us being underpaid, undervalued, controlled, seen as an object, lack of self esteem, loss of self, a void within, dissatisfaction and the need to seek more and more without.

Please know – We are enough!

It was never about us.

Sometimes we are so wise, intelligent and tuned in that it can literally put fear into those around us.

Maybe our truths will bring crystal clarity to others and their true self will be uncovered, inevitably their mask may fall.

Maybe they may have to look at their lives and that means they would have to take ownership and that leads to change.

Change can be scary for some.

Maybe to them this was love, please know they truly tried there best.

They too have deep wounding and conditioning that suggests this is all truth, that’s all they have ever known.

When looking at either our Mother or Father wounding and these aspects it is important to realise our lifegivers tried their best.

We either choose love or fear in all our decisions/actions.

When so heavily conditioned fear comes naturally, it seems the safest option – total paradox I know.

They loved you in the only way they knew how, as we ourselves have done all our lives in many forms, many ways.

We can choose to live through forgiveness and liberation.

We can choose to offer appreciation and gratitude for our lessons and life.

In turn releasing ourselves from our past then finding that all others; mirrors, amplifiers, teachers, true gifts in life will dissolve – lesson learnt, truth embraced and uncovered.

There is no need for us to project, cling or push another away.

Going forth and visualising our inner child, holding them. Explaining you see them, you love them, you hear them and they are wise, intelligent, beautiful. Letting them know and feel that this is wealth, riches, fullness, wholeness – The ultimate paradise.

Ask them to come home so you may stand fully in your power with no need to be noticed, validated, to have material wealth as you are the only validation, wealth and sovereignty that they shall ever need. Allow their body, light, energy, love to dissolve and merge into yours like silk on skin.

Pick up your crown, claim your royalty and shine like the star that you are.


ascension, life, relationships, Trauma


Sometimes we can feel we aren’t love. We may have been told or shown from a young age we are evil, useless, inferior, cursed, dirty, unhinged, destructive, promiscuous, damaged, sensitive, naughty, shameful, ugly or not enough etc.

As children we may have felt we needed to prove ourselves, our worth.

We may have felt like adults as children. Like we were somehow responsible for our elders.

We may have grown up with patriarchy, sexism, racism, homophobia or any form radical bias.

We may possibly feel like a failure as we couldn’t make people love us or we couldn’t fix the situations happening around us leaving us feeling helpless, wounded, open, lost, unloved and in some way “bad or evil.” It can leave us feeling as children we were somehow to blame; the cause, the impediment, the weak one, the naughty one, the inadequate one and the unloveable one.

Situations could have been but arent limited to; lack of understanding, lack of nurturing mentally and/or physically, being invalidated, witnessing a parent with mental distress. Not being believed, emotional repression, witnessing or being subjected to violence or any form of abuse. Being smothered, being placed on a pedestal, life being viewed as a competition, comparison, rigid rules, name calling, humiliation, rejection or being viewed an extension of another inhibiting the ability to discover your true self.

In adult life we may find we try to unconsciously compensate for this by fixing others, seeking others, needing more, wanting more, craving attention, validation, addictions, fear, projections, obsessions, over achieving, self sabotage, hurting others, rejecting others and/or rejecting self. The inability to express or even feel emotion alternatively being in a state of heightened emotional responses.

On both ends of the spectrum we are unconsciously trying to justify our childhood experience, fix our caregivers or make sense of what we did that was so wrong.

Please know that it was never about any of us!

It wasn’t our fault, we were love, are love and always have been love.

Hold your inner child, ask him/her/they what they need, speak to them, nurture them and send them the love and understanding they so desperately needed.

From this day forward choose to be true to yourself, honour yourself, know that you are love no matter what may have been said or done by another or even repeated by you or others on a larger scale within adult life.

We can repeat that in which we do not acknowledge and accept and we shall draw in similar experiences until we accept our earlier years.

Yes it takes time, patience and strength.
There are many layers and it may not be simple. It is however so very, very rewarding and you are creating a new way for our children, their children and our beloved ancestors.

Our elders, caregivers, parents, educators whichever titles used, also learned this conditioned behaviour and passed it on thinking or feeling it was normality.

Nobody is to blame as such.
It is however important that we are accountable for our selves in a loving, caring, nurturing, forgiving way. This in turn it creates a loving outer ripple effect for other relationships in our lives.

Each and every day choose to be the love that you are, accepting nothing less than your worth. You may not be believed, you may be shunned but ultimately you are being honourable to yourself and in turn everybody else.

Yes we may see and feel those that are hurting around us. We may see their inner light, love and beauty that’s hidden away but it isn’t our responsibility to “fix” another, it never was, it never shall be.

To send love to another yet primarily focusing on watering our own garden as such can create a vast landscape that creates a whole new reality.

Today may we choose to immerse ourselves into a deeper state of self love.

Knowing that we are all enough,

We are all equal.

You are love

I am love

We are love

Bec Hart.