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BEFRIENDING THE ENEMY.

How 24 hours can shift your reality.

Yesterday wasn’t an ordinary day as mentioned in my last blog, I felt like I had gone backwards, way back in time. Way back in time with a totally different perspective yet there were many realisations, many! It wasn’t a very nice place I went to admittedly.

The call for balance in my life was most definitely the most profound realisation, as I realise that I’ve somehow managed to become too focused on within and really would like to be outdoors more and socialising.

Fear was still playing it’s sad song in the background of my life preventing me from coming forward with my gifts, using the same old excuse of, “I don’t know how or nobody needs me, haven’t got a purpose.” Screams of coming last in everything as a child. Although last place/backwards is the best place to be as you get to see everything in full colour and surround sound.

I’d love to know if anyone else does this form of self sabotage to avoid shining in the spotlight (which may never even happen).

Today totally different mindset, I actually received a message off a friend who could truly see me. The power in someone acknowledging you is profound, you feel less alone with it somehow. What impact that has is something I could never ever explain. Just like how I somehow manage to travel around in time, maybe one day I will know more about this but it’s something I’ve done since I was really young. I remember certain events that happened say at 15 then I found out it occurred 10 years later but this was an event for me to remember as it was a guide for what I would be doing later in life.

This has happened to with artwork only for them to come true in my life at a later date or even uncovering past events and the connection between all.

My life feels unusual at times, I feel unusual at times. I’m not sure if it’s because I am or this is happening with lots of people and we don’t speak out because of fear.

I’m here speaking out, I’m not hiding anymore. I love all of me, even in the darkness and strangeness of reality – if there is such a thing.

Heart still a little tender today but I’m breathing and that is truly the basis of life.

I am alive.

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