ascension, life, relationships, spirituality

Beautiful as a trigger – sexual distortion.

Beautiful as a trigger – sexual distortion.

As she sat there, he lay his hand upon her leg and told her how beautiful she is, how much he loved her. Forcing his urges energetically through her sensitive field. She could feel in the pit of her stomach, deep sensations of unease, wanting to run, wanting to hide, being oh so very confused, scared. Feeling she was far from beautiful as this did not feel like beauty, it felt dirty, sick, twisted. Most definitely not sacred, the body repulsed and the inner child hid in shame “but he loves me, he told me so.” He can’t help it he said, it’s because she was so beautiful.
Life carries on, she took the hit of blame, buried the past under a blank page.
Relationship after relationship, mirror after mirror gradually getting louder and louder till the penny dropped, stop, stop don’t touch me she screamed inside and out.
I can’t do this anymore, there’s nowhere to hide.
As she lay on the floor, holding herself, shaking, vomiting wanting to escape she committed to all of her, to now, to presence, to her vulnerabile, raw self.
An awakening realisation, she is beautiful, she is sacred and as she went deeper she most definitely wasn’t going to lose herself this time.
It wasn’t her truth, it wasn’t her fault, nor her cross to bare, it never was.
Deeper into love, deeper into truth she embraced her beauty, body and sexuality and wore it with pride, each touch a connection to the divine.
All a distortion, a glitch in the field, an ancestral gift waiting for someone to seek and not hide.
No more hiding, she rose in flames, shaking at the core yet liberated through time.

Bec Hart.

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