Sometimes we can feel we aren’t love. We may have been told or shown from a young age we are evil, useless, inferior, cursed, dirty, unhinged, destructive, promiscuous, damaged, sensitive, naughty, shameful, ugly or not enough etc.
As children we may have felt we needed to prove ourselves, our worth.
We may have felt like adults as children. Like we were somehow responsible for our elders.
We may have grown up with patriarchy, sexism, racism, homophobia or any form radical bias.
We may possibly feel like a failure as we couldn’t make people love us or we couldn’t fix the situations happening around us leaving us feeling helpless, wounded, open, lost, unloved and in some way “bad or evil.” It can leave us feeling as children we were somehow to blame; the cause, the impediment, the weak one, the naughty one, the inadequate one and the unloveable one.
Situations could have been but arent limited to; lack of understanding, lack of nurturing mentally and/or physically, being invalidated, witnessing a parent with mental distress. Not being believed, emotional repression, witnessing or being subjected to violence or any form of abuse. Being smothered, being placed on a pedestal, life being viewed as a competition, comparison, rigid rules, name calling, humiliation, rejection or being viewed an extension of another inhibiting the ability to discover your true self.
In adult life we may find we try to unconsciously compensate for this by fixing others, seeking others, needing more, wanting more, craving attention, validation, addictions, fear, projections, obsessions, over achieving, self sabotage, hurting others, rejecting others and/or rejecting self. The inability to express or even feel emotion alternatively being in a state of heightened emotional responses.
On both ends of the spectrum we are unconsciously trying to justify our childhood experience, fix our caregivers or make sense of what we did that was so wrong.
Please know that it was never about any of us!
It wasn’t our fault, we were love, are love and always have been love.
Hold your inner child, ask him/her/they what they need, speak to them, nurture them and send them the love and understanding they so desperately needed.
From this day forward choose to be true to yourself, honour yourself, know that you are love no matter what may have been said or done by another or even repeated by you or others on a larger scale within adult life.
We can repeat that in which we do not acknowledge and accept and we shall draw in similar experiences until we accept our earlier years.
Yes it takes time, patience and strength.
There are many layers and it may not be simple. It is however so very, very rewarding and you are creating a new way for our children, their children and our beloved ancestors.
Our elders, caregivers, parents, educators whichever titles used, also learned this conditioned behaviour and passed it on thinking or feeling it was normality.
Nobody is to blame as such.
It is however important that we are accountable for our selves in a loving, caring, nurturing, forgiving way. This in turn it creates a loving outer ripple effect for other relationships in our lives.
Each and every day choose to be the love that you are, accepting nothing less than your worth. You may not be believed, you may be shunned but ultimately you are being honourable to yourself and in turn everybody else.
Yes we may see and feel those that are hurting around us. We may see their inner light, love and beauty that’s hidden away but it isn’t our responsibility to “fix” another, it never was, it never shall be.
To send love to another yet primarily focusing on watering our own garden as such can create a vast landscape that creates a whole new reality.
Today may we choose to immerse ourselves into a deeper state of self love.
Knowing that we are all enough,
We are all equal.
You are love
I am love
We are love