ascension, life, relationships, Trauma

Lost and found yet nobody moved.

A deep sadness lurking, hiding in the deep depths within. Inaccessible, denied, rejected, hidden, dark.

Years of torture, self harm, alcohol, self destruction, criticism, people pleasing, unhealthy relationships, suicide attempts to mask the bondage of shame, despair, inner death. Oh and the fake smiles, those fake smiles and jokes about my inherent inadequacy.

The grotesque one – the beast within the beauty. The raging, cheating, unworthy, destructive, shameful, powerless, projective, sexualized, vilified, victimised and in denial liar. The one who punished self and ultimately couldn’t love self or another. The one who raped within self and in turn was raped without.

THE HIDDEN ONE.

A sadness inside.
Unknown source.
A depth of despair.
Toxicity bubbling.
A lava fuelled fire.
Corrosing.
Raw.
Unheard.
Pain that lingers.
Deep within.
Hidden.
Avoided.
Guilt ridden.
Shamed.
Rejected.
Rising.
Acidic sin.
On those days.
A knife I held.
Poison ingested.
Relationships I swilled.
Pure chaos.
Denial.
I bled my own life.
Sadness excavation.
Rising.
To be heard.
No more hiding.
Nor words unheard.
I’m here.
I never left.
I’ll hold you.
Be heard.

Oh my dear friend I am so glad you have taken the time to reveal yourself, now is the time I open my arms and show you the love and self compassion you have always so desperately yearned. The resolve you sought without could only ever be found within.

Let me guide you to love, to loving touch, true happiness, to be and to truly live. Allow me to open the door to the wisdom you’ve gained and reveal that all endured has led to evolution, compassion, pure love, peace, simplicity, presence and acceptance.

First may we speak through our love, I have something to say.

Allow me to hold you as you’ve never been held before, merge our hearts together, as we dance in the dark and dissolve into light.

You didn’t lose yourself.
You never lost yourself.
You can’t.
You are self.
You are still there.
Here.
In fullness.
Light.
Wonder.
Love.
Hiding beneath layers.
Illusion.
Dissolution.
Detachment.
Pain.
Fear.
Shame.
Rejection.
Abandonment.
Numbness.
Denial.
Accept yourself.
All colours.
Each is flow.
All are perfect imperfections.
Beauty spots.
Scars.
Self.
Truth.
Wholeness.
Face the times you hid.
With an open heart.
A compassionate mind.
The treasure lies here.
Within the pit of despair.
The void.
A well.
A key that unlocks your destiny.
For colour is life.
I look at you.
Deep within your eyes.
Pure truth.
My heart.
My love.
I see life.
You are so lively.


YOU ARE LIFE ITSELF! ❤

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